


Spitroast

by LinksLipsSinkShips



Series: Kinktober [13]
Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Kinktober 2018, M/M, Spitroast, Unbetaed we die like men, but also like the sex act, but it's a consensual punishment that josh is prepared for, but late because I was scared to post, josh gets punished for all those nasty foods he makes for them, like the food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 09:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18466069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips
Summary: Josh makes Rhett and Link eat intestines during an episode called Will It Spitroast? After, Link devises a plan for a spitroast of his very own to make sure Josh learns his own lesson about gagging on things.





	Spitroast

It didn’t matter that he had a cute custom barf bucket. If Link Neal had to throw up one more freaking piece of food on the show, he was going to lose his gosh darn mind. Or at least, that’s what he’d been ranting about to Rhett in their office after the episode had wrapped. Sure, they’d built an entire career on puking food up. They’d made countless people laugh over the way they had gagged and retched over nasty food. Anyone looking could have easily found dozens of compilations of it. Those episodes always seemed to pull in the highest view counts for god-knows-what reason.

But this was the last straw for Link, it seemed, and he’d insisted that he had a bone to pick with Josh. Most of the time, Rhett was a fan of the things Josh did. As much as Rhett had done his best to defend Josh, Link wasn’t taking it.

“Intestines?” Link shouted. “Motherflippin’ freakin’  _ intestines?  _ You can’t tell me you enjoyed eating that!”

Rhett wasn’t entirely sure why Link was keeping his words so dialed in, even when his voice wasn’t. The cameras weren’t rolling and they didn’t have to stay family-friendly now, but Link still had a line he wasn’t crossing yet. Rhett wondered if he could leverage that, could use the fact that Link wasn’t cursing, at least, as a sign that Josh wasn’t in as deep of shit as Rhett thought he might be.

“Of course I didn’t like eating them,” Rhett responded to him. “We paid him to gross us out, man. That’s our bread and butter. If he doesn’t make us gag, it isn’t nearly as fun to watch.”

“I’ll make  _ him  _ gag,” Link threatened, eyes dark and brow furrowed. “You’re telling me you’ve never thought about making him pay for the way he makes us choke like that? You’ve never wanted to get even with him, show him how badly it sucks to gag on something?” The look on Link’s face spelled trouble with a capital T, and while Rhett had a few things in mind that Link could be talking about, he wasn’t going to let Link do the talking by himself. No, he needed to reign this in before it crossed too many lines. But Link was ready to deal with this  _ now,  _ no waiting, and Rhett had no choice but to follow Link into the kitchen.

He kept his mouth mostly shut as Link hopped onto the counter and stared Josh down.

“Can I help you?” Josh asked, sliding a knife across the sharpening stone on the counter near Link.

“How could you do us like that, Josh?”

For a long while, Josh didn’t answer, eyes trained on the knife he was sliding against a stone, but then he set it in the drawer and took a deep breath. “It’s what you pay me to do, boss. The writers get the idea, and I sort out the food. I gave you cinnamon rolls,” he reminded Link. “You liked my cinnamon rolls.”

It was true. Link had loved the cinnamon rolls. The episode had been Will It Spitroast? and each round had featured a different food cooked on a spit. The first round had been incredible, and Josh had even come out and put a fresh drizzle of icing on the spitroasted rolls. They’d been perfect: crisp on the outside, nice and gooey in the center. Link had never had a better cinnamon roll in his life.

The rounds got progressively more disgusting, as always. That was the point of the show. Play-Doh, which was disgusting enough as it was, was one of the rounds. At least they were used to that. But the final round was intestines.

“Have you ever eaten intestines, Josh?” Link asked. He cocked his head to the side and Rhett winced. The tone of his voice wasn’t good. Josh was lucky Link wasn’t reaching for any sharp objects because his anger and frustration was palpable.

“I tasted them when prepping for the episode. I wanted to be sure you’d gag on them,” Josh said. He didn’t look at Link. Instead, his eyes followed Rhett as Rhett calmly and silently walked over to the counter, leaning over to Link’s ear and whispering something. Link shook his head no.

“Not yet,” Link said quietly to Rhett, then turned to Josh. “Did you gag?”

“I … you know, I’ve … I’ve got a good gag reflex,” Josh said. He was clearly trying to deflect, to dodge the question and avoid telling Link that no, of course he hadn’t gagged.

“That’s not what I asked you.”

“Short answer: no. I expected that it was going to taste horrible. It did,” Josh answered flatly. “I was trying to think of something that would be both show-friendly and gag-worthy.”

“Link, it’s what we hired him to do,” Rhett said, piping up in defense of Josh. Link was none too happy about that, glaring at him sharply, but it garnered a smirk from Josh. They had a special bond, mostly on account of how Rhett loved to eat and Josh loved cooking for someone who liked eating the way Rhett did.

“I still don’t think it’s fair,” Link pouted. “I think if it didn’t make you gag, you need to eat something that will.”

“I can do that,” Josh said, staring Link down as he took a step toward him. “Name it and I’ll eat it.”

“Oh, yeah. Me namin’ something’s going to work. You just said you ate intestines and it didn’t make you gag because you knew it was going to be gross. No. You tell us what makes you gag and we’ll make room in the budget for it. Hell, we’ll do it for a more and the Mythical Beasts can watch  _ you  _ gag for a change,” Link said. Rhett stayed quiet.

But Josh’s eyes flashed between Rhett and Link as he got quiet. His eyes dragged up Link’s body slowly, then went back to Rhett. “There’s only one thing that really makes me gag. YouTube isn’t exactly an appropriate place for that kind of thing.”

“What did you have in mind, Josh?” Rhett asked him. He tried to control the shake in his voice. On the one hand, Josh seemed to be making a suggestion. On the other, Rhett was certain he was misreading things and Josh was about to say something like “bile,” or “moose heart,” or something.

“I mean there’s another kind of spitroast we can try,” Josh explained, arching an eyebrow.

“What?” Rhett asked.

Josh flicked his tongue over his bottom lip and moved away from Link, getting closer to Rhett as he did. “You haven’t been on the internet long enough to know what I’m talking about?”

“Just tell me what you want, Josh,” Rhett said insistently. He needed Josh to say it, to make it clear that he was actually asking for what Josh thought he was.

“If you’re so set on making me gag, do it. You want me choking all over myself? That’s how you can make me do that.” Josh still wasn’t saying it in as many words and Rhett was getting frustrated. He had to say it. He had to make it clear.

“Say it, Josh,” Link said. He was on the same page as Rhett was. If Josh didn’t say it, they couldn’t. It was too close to the line they already knew they shouldn’t be crossing.

“Spitroast me.”

“You want us t-to, uh …” Link breathed, unable to finish his sentence.

“I want to choke on your dick,” Josh spelled out, “while Rhett fucks me. I mean if you want to order some nasty food and make me eat it on camera, fine, I will. But I can guarantee it won’t make me gag the way that would.” He shrugged and stepped away, leaning against the opposite counter like he was indifferent to it.

Rhett’s eyes met Link’s, and for a moment Rhett wondered if they were communicating telepathically somehow.

_ Should we do this? Is it even legal? _

_ Probably not. Do you want to? _

_ Oh, I want to. He’s hot and he can cook. _

_ Maybe if we make it hard, he’ll go easier on us next time. _

Josh smirked, as if the quick, hurried glances, the frantic looks, were somehow amusing. Rhett knew Link wasn’t going to care for that much, and sure enough, Link crossed the room in long, quick strides, getting his hand on Josh’s shirt as he crowded him against the counter, tugging him forward and shoving him backward hard. “Something funny to you, wise guy?”

“No,” Josh said, smirk still painted on his face.

“You know if we do this, it won’t be fun for you, right?” Link almost growled. “It’s meant to make you choke, not make you happy.”

“I’m a glutton for punishment,” Josh answered calmly. It seemed like nothing Link said could phase him in the slightest. Rhett was a little bit alarmed by how steady and calm he remained.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Rhett asked.

“Oh, I’m sure.”

“So how does this even work?” Rhett asked, still wondering what the plan was, and if Josh was really even aware of what he was getting himself into. Even though Rhett was far more interested in Josh than Link was, it seemed evident that if Rhett let Link have his way, he’d already have Josh bent over the counter if the way he was acting was any indication. Not necessarily because he wanted him, but because he wanted to punish him. Hard.

“I’d assume that a spitroast as punishment for a spitroast calls for you two deciding where you want to be,” Josh said plainly. “I’m just here to take it. The rest is up to you.”

Rhett stole a glance at Link once more, unsure what to say to that at all. He was scared of letting Link take control of the situation when he was as angry as he was. He might take things one step too far.

“We going to just stand here?” Josh asked, and that was enough for Link, who was more than ready to give him the punishment he deserved.

“No. And I’ve made up my mind. I’m longer, so I’m picking first. You want to choke?” Link asked. It was a rhetorical question. Whether or not Josh wanted to choke—and he’d made it plenty clear he  _ did  _ want that—he was going to. And Rhett knew as well as anybody that Link’s was more likely to choke a guy. He was fine with that, because that left one spot for him, and it was where he wanted to be, behind Josh, giving him everything he had.

Link spread his legs a little bit, shoulder-width apart because he could, sliding his joggers down and letting his cock spring free. It was hard at the prospect of getting to do this. “You think you can take it?” Link asked, assessing the stunned look on Josh’s face. He wrapped his hand around himself and gave himself a few good strokes, making sure he was as hard as possible for Josh.

“Wow,” Josh hummed out a small approval.

“Long, innit?” Link smirked, eyes flicking up to Rhett in some small form of victory.

“I … can definitely see why the internet thinks you’re longer,” Josh retorted, then glanced over his shoulder at Rhett, as if worried he might have hurt his feelings. Without seeing any annoyance, he turned back to Link. “That’s impressive, honestly.” Josh sank to his knees in front of Link, opening his mouth and taking the full length effortlessly from the start, looking up at Link with challenge written all over his face.  _ See? I can take it. _

Rhett watched Josh suck Link off, stroking himself through his jeans as he looked at them there. It was hot, the guy he had eyes for and his best friend for a lifetime, hooking up right in front of him. Like double-dutch, he was just waiting for the right time to jump in and have his turn. Right now, he was plenty happy watching them, the way Link rubbed Josh’s newly shaved head, gripped it tight to force Josh to take it deeper, holding them there until saliva was dripping down Josh’s chin before letting go.

“You good?” Link asked.

“Hell yeah, I’m good,” Josh answered, a frat-boy kind of answer that could only otherwise be made more intense with a “yeah boi,” on the end or something. Rhett chuckled.

“Want more?” Rhett asked. He was ready to take his turn, to make it a true spitroast. First, he was stunned by Josh crawling over him, unbuttoning his jeans and tugging them down to give Rhett head, too. He ran his tongue along the length as he gripped Rhett with one hand, reaching his other hand out for Link.

A true chef, he was a skilled multitasker, and it showed in the way he stroked Link while gagging on Rhett’s thick cock. His eyes fluttered at the intensity of it all, and as he reached for Link’s hip, pulled him closer, he opened his mouth wide as if asking permission.

“You want both?” Link asked, glancing at Rhett and then back at Josh.

“Please,” Josh said.

Rhett took hold of his own cock, holding it to the side of Josh’s mouth and giving Link room to slide the tip of his in. There was no way they’d both properly fit in Josh’s mouth, but the friction of themselves against each other and Josh getting at least the tip of them both was plenty to keep them wanting more. Rhett, though, was ready for the main event, pulling out of Josh’s mouth. “How about that spitroast?”

“Okay,” Josh said, reaching into a cabinet for coconut oil and tossing it to Rhett, who started warming it in his hands as Josh got undressed for him. Rhett couldn’t take his eyes off of Josh, licking his lips. Link knew exactly what he was thinking about.

“Rhett, I swear if you eat his ass and make him like this, I’m firing both of you,” Link sighed, watching as Rhett slicked his fingers up with lube as Josh peeled his shirt off over his head. He wasted no time in getting stripped, and now, Rhett was running his hand along the tattoo on Josh’s lower back. If they did this, there was no going back, and suddenly that tattoo had a far more intense meaning than it had before: it was the culmination of their effort together, just like this was, and Rhett was a little nervous. He wasn’t nervous enough to stop, though, and as he worked one finger into Josh, who was leaned forward now, bent at the waist to take Link’s cock as Rhett worked him open, Rhett realized Josh was right. This was a long time coming anyway.

“You ready?” Rhett asked, and Josh nodded and mumbled around Link’s cock.

Rhett took it as enough of a yes and slid into him slowly, with Josh moaning so hard he made Link moan from the vibration on his cock.

“You sure this is comfortable, man?” Rhett asked. Josh was bent forward with nothing supporting him, and as Rhett pushed into him, his legs shook a little bit.

“I’m good. I needed the core workout anyway,” Josh said. Still, Rhett wrapped an arm around him, trying to give him what little support he could as he pushed deeper into him. Each push from Rhett into Josh’s tight ass forced him forward, pushing Link’s cock deeper into his throat as Josh gagged hard.

“You wanted to see me choke, right?” Josh asked, pulling back long enough to catch his breath, keeping his hand on Link.

“Damn right, we did,” Link agreed, and Josh opened wide, letting Link go so deep he hit the back of his throat. His eyes watered uncontrollably, and his jaw ached from the effort in a good way. They hadn’t even touched him and it felt like he might cum soon anyway from the way Rhett was driving into him and the way Link was rubbing his back as he pushed into the back of Josh’s throat again and again.

The more Josh took it, the harder they fucked him from both ends, and as Rhett grunted and groaned, he whimpered, “I don’t think I can last much longer.”

“Don’t get flaccid on me, McLaughlin,” Link said, continuing to push deeper into Josh’s mouth. “I’m not done yet!” His pep talks could only do so much, though, and he could see in Rhett’s eyes how desperate he was to finish. Link leaned forward and reached for Rhett, pulling him in and kissing him, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. He pulled back just enough to meet Rhett’s green eyes before Rhett was spilling into Josh, practically doubling over from how much his legs were shaking. The force with which Rhett came inside of Josh made him moan to the point Link thought he’d be close behind, but he held off long enough, pulling out of Josh’s mouth and moving himself to the counter.

“Get over here, Josh,” Link commanded, and Josh did as he said, going to Link, now perched on the counter. Josh did as he was told, sucking Link off as Rhett sank to his knees. He marveled at the way his cum trickled out of Josh, dripping down his leg. Rhett ran his tongue along Josh’s leg, up to the hole he’d just thoroughly wrecked and filled with cum. Defying Link’s wishes for him not to eat Josh’s ass, to make him like this, his tongue was damn near made for it, and he prodded his tongue into Josh’s ass, fucking him with that the way he had with his cock minutes before. He reached around Josh, stroking his cock knowing full well that if he went too far and made Josh cum before Link did, they’d all be in a world of hurt.

Thankfully, Link was close, and Rhett could tell in the way his breath quickened and the way he arched his back forward, digging his fingertips into Josh’s shoulder. “Aw, crap,” Link groaned, spilling into Josh’s mouth until he was gagging and choking, not from the flavor but from the sheer intensity. When Link was done, he pulled off of him, wiping his cheek with the backside of his hand. “What d’you think? Did I choke enough?” Josh asked, catching his breath.

“You did good,” Link said, slipping off of the counter and taking Josh in his mouth. Rhett pulled back from Josh’s ass long enough to say “wow, he sure does like eating your meat, Josh.”

“I like it as much as Rhett likes your cooking,” Link answered, smirking.

“I know I’m usually a sausage man, but Link likes you more than that, uh, what was that expensive sausage from the McGriddle?” Leave it to Rhett to be distracted by the food they’d made together. Josh started to answer, but Link devoured his cock, taking him deep until Josh was almost buckling under the sensation.

When Josh did come, he did it with force, sending streaks across Link’s face and hitting the cabinet behind him. After that, things devolved into nervousness at what they’d just done. “Thanks for, uh, for… all that…” Link muttered. They’d crossed boundaries they couldn’t uncross, gone places they couldn’t go back from. Josh tugged his jeans on and leaned against the counter, biting a cuticle at his nail. He wasn’t certain what he  _ should  _ say now. Link started to back out of the kitchen, but Rhett couldn’t drop it that easily. Instead, he smiled at Josh warmly.

“You got any more of those cinnamon rolls left, Josh?” he asked. It was his way of deflecting, changing the subject from what they’d just done.

Josh couldn’t let it drop, though. Not that easily. He smiled at Rhett and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got more of the cinnamon rolls, sure. Some icing, too. ‘Course, you’ve got some good icing of your own, it seems like.” He put one on a plate and passed it to Rhett with a fork. “You know, for the right price I could probably get more intestines, but I’d probably get punished for that, wouldn’t I?”

That told Rhett everything he needed to know, and Link, who hadn’t left the kitchen quite yet, let out a small groan. The shit-eating grin on Josh’s face confirmed it all. They hadn’t seen their last gross food on Good Mythical Morning. But that was okay, because it was also clear they hadn’t seen their last opportunity to take care of whatever would follow behind-the-scenes. Rhett was even pretty sure they had those handcuffs from the cooking challenge they’d done. For the right nasty food, Josh might need a more severe punishment the next time.


End file.
